Invest in your most important relationship

COUPLES COUNSELING

Helping couples in-person in Overland Park, KS and online throughout Kansas

 

Life happens and marriage can go stale.

Does it feel like your marriage is falling apart? Do you go to bed angry more often than not? Tired of the same old argument? Do you feel so alone and crave real connection in your relationship? Maybe you feel misunderstood, or even disrespected, by your partner. Or, you feel like you are the only working in the relationship. This has lead to frustration, resentment, maybe even thoughts about divorce. Or worse. Perhaps you have been devastated by the discovery of an affair that has left you reeling, so betrayed you don’t know how your relationship can recover.

Or maybe for you, conflict isn’t at the forefront. Instead your relationship has gotten STALE, lost its spark, and sex feels like a chore. At least if you were fighting – there would be some type of heat between you. Maybe your relationship is getting lukewarm or even ice cold. 

Are you ready for something different in your relationship?

It’s so painful to experience distance and conflict with your partner, like the stable ground has crumbled beneath you. It has affected you in many ways: your mood, your feelings about yourself, your interactions with others. You desperately want a relationship where you feel totally accepted for who you are, but you aren’t sure how to make that happen and wonder if it is even possible.

Whatever stage you are in your relationship (communication issues to affair recovery), couples counseling can help you restore the connection and deepen the relationship.

I can help you have the marriage you have always wanted.

 

What if your marriage could be your greatest source of joy?

Imagine having…

  • More fun and enjoyment together

  • Less arguing and more connecting

  • A more fulfilling sex life

  • Greater trust and intimacy

  • A partner who really gets you

  • The joy of true partnership

Let’s figure out what has been keeping you both stuck and help you move forward.

We will uncover communication patterns and dynamics within your relationship by discovering what triggers each of you. Often, you both get triggered by things that remind you of past difficult experiences. You will learn to identify these experiences and the deeper emotions associated with them so that you can understand the impact your partner’s actions have on you. You can discover what it’s like to calm yourself and your partner during difficult interactions.  By learning more about what you and your partner are experiencing, you will deepen the connection and be able to help meet each other’s needs and grow as individuals within the relationship. The goal is to help you develop the kind of relationship you have been wanting for so long.


Fulfilling relationships take work, but they are worth it.  Ready to start the work?

“The strongest relationships are between two people who can live without each other but don't want to.”

— Harriet Lerner

Couples counseling can help you:

  •  Identify the triggers that keep you both stuck in conflict

  • Improve your communication patterns

  • Deepen your understanding of each other

  • Enjoy fun, friendship and adventure together

  • Learn to work together as partners

  • Increase your passion for each other

  • Heal from betrayal and learn how to trust again

You don’t have to settle with a so-so marriage. It is possible to experience joy and fulfillment again.

Areas of Specialty in Couples Counseling

  • Prepare/Enrich (for premarital couples)

  • Communication and conflict

  • Infidelity therapy and affair recovery

  • Discernment counseling

  • Parenting challenges

Common questions about couples counseling

  • Absolutely! Couples counseling is helpful for couples in all stages of the relationship. Whether you are new to the relationship or have been together for decades, couples counseling can help you communicate your needs to each other, find ways to make the relationship more fulfilling for both of you, and provide tools to strengthen intimacy. For couples who are engaged or considering marriage, I am Prepare/Enrich certified, and I can provide an assessment that will identify strengths and weaknesses, which can be helpful in preventing issues down the road.

  • I will meet with you both together in our first session to gather information about your relationship history and the issues you are currently facing. There may be sessions where I meet with each of you individually, but most of the time I will be working with you both together. I don’t function as a referee, rather as a facilitator to help you understand each other. We will work to discover communication patterns and dynamics within the marriage that are keeping you from having a fulfilling relationship. I primarily use Emotionally Focused Therapy to guide my couples work, but I also use Internal Family Systems and differentiation work to help each person grow as an individual within the relationship.

  • Yes. I work with couples who feel ambivalent about their marriage to make decisions about what they would like to do next. I have training in Discernment Counseling, which is effective for couples who are contemplating whether they want to stay in the relationship.

  • Early in couples work, I may meet with each of you individually but the goal is to do couples counseling together. It is generally not best practices for me to regularly meet with one partner without the other partner present if we are focused on the relationship.

  • Couples counseling is not recommend with an ongoing active affair or in cases involving domestic violence.

  • Yes, I see couples regularly who are dealing with affairs/betrayals. This kind of couples work often takes more time, and I really recommend beginning with weekly sessions in this case.